bl*nkety bl*nk bl*nk!

It's really hard to live up to the status of "most boring" blog. Until now, I always was mildly amused by the absurdity I had just put on the internet. However, I just now realized that I had fulfilled the ideal of "most boring" by not writing ANYTHING!

Life's a 'Vich

Think of all the stress in the world...think about it like that white on white painting by Malevich. Then, go buy a blow up world (or a copy of White on White by Malevich). Then punch the world with a big, solid punch, in order to flatten it and thus symbolically get rid of the stress in the world... or it might symbolically represent destroying the world with a large fist from the sky, which might scare you and latently cause you more stress (so, I would actually recommend going with the Malevich painting and just drawing something worthwhile on it).

faux REALZ

I am constantly catching myself being quite arrogant, or haughty, just like you. I think most people can say with honesty that they, too can be quite arrogant. Lyrical Gangstas are known for being REALLY arrogant.
I often wondered if every time they said, "shoot, daawg" in a song, if it meant that they were lyrically shooting someone (or their lame fighting dog). I suppose that would make them passive-aggressive as well. On the bright side, no one could ever say, "why don't you just come out and say it!!!" It would be totally rad, though if every time a rapping dog said, "thro' mee a BOHNE!!!" they got a bone, because, if you didn't know this already, dogs luuuv bones...and some dogs starve for them, like in Romania and Ukraigneh. (Some countries eat dogs, too, if you didn't know that either.)

Megatight RAP:

EAt dawwwg! Kut me sum slack!
Kuzz if you keep wit it,
I'll b. on yo' back
An' then I will cack juss to make you madd
whilst thou eatest chili in yo' grampah'z plaidd?
WUTT? you say; that bee stingin' yo' ear?
well I gottsomemore fo' ya'll to hear...
But I gots a prob wit bein' too P.-A.
So I juss say to you: Have a nice day!
Peace!

suppatime

There are all kinds of things made for dinner. Pizza is good for you and is good. Play-doh is not good for food. Chicken can be good for you, but if you eat the gizzard you need to tell the chicken a joke while he's eating (before you kill him) so that he can barf up all the glass he swallowed to munch up his food... but if he is eating pizza, you can let him enjoy it first because it is soooo good.

close, but no cigar (don't smoke)

I fool everyone--I'm serious. I think everyone looks at me and says, "hey, that is one guy who is something", but I am really something else.